whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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