She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
