Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
