what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
