when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
