i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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