There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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