the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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