Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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