Where is the hickey?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
