Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
