i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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