we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
