Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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