the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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