so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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