I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
