I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
