okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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