god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Operation Purity has been aborted
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
