i barfeds in our rink
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
