I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
