I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
