and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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