Tell her she can't have a vagina
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was CRYING into my vagina
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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