Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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