Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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