if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
