I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
