One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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