They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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