your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it because I queefed?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
