this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
