Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
