Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
