oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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