i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude i'm inner monologue high
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just pee around me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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