So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
