Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
