the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
