I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
