i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
