walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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