i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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