remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
