they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
