it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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