I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
