thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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