I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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