How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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