keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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