Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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