Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
