no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
