you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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