We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
