the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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