Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
