im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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