How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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