the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
