The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize