He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
