I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
whose ass print is on the piano?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
